Tournament Darts International Oracles

The material found on this page was
culled from past issues of the TDI
News. Whether it was put there on
purpose or not I cannot say. In the
various offerings may be found the
secrets of attaining the perfect 301
game, assurances of always hitting
the double on your first attempt, and
the unbeatable cricket strategy.
These invaluble tools are
interspersed with tips on picking
intimidating dart cases, mix and
match shaft combinations, what to
wear with paisley flights, how to
grind your points to the correct 37
degree angle using a brick wall and
that little known ADO rule about an
automatic win if you catch a bouncer
in your teeth.

We hope you may benefit from these pearls of wisdom and would be very interested in examining anyone whose game was improved. Just leave your name and number with the girl at the desk and we'll get back to you.

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For many years Mark Cunningham has graced the TDI News with columns such as Double-One Ouch - The World of Plus - Yeah, Right, I'm Retired
What follows are a few exerpts.

Tips on beating upper division teams:

Keep breaking the chalk into smaller and smaller pieces.

If your team is winning, form a team huddle in the middle of the bar and start chanting, `Bonus point, bonus point.'

Proposed TDI awards:

SFA The Sigmund Freud award for talking to your darts while shooting.
GPA The Gomer Pyle award for not knowing where your teammates are.

Observations:

Remember the winning dart is in your hand... (it needs to be in the board.)

21st Century Innovations:

Return-O-Matic dartboards which rifle your darts back to you within ten seconds of your third toss. The special `bristle blocker pad', similar to that worn by goalies in the NHL, is worn on the opposite hand to receive the returning arrows.

Captain's Meetings:

New bars, new faces, same ol' arguments.

Classified Ads:

ISO- SWM seeks SWF with great figure, money, darts... send photo of darts.
ISO- SWF seeks SWM with talent, looks, cash, sense of humor... TDIers need not apply.

You've Been Shooting Too Long When...

You can tell someone how to shoot a T23 out, but you always end up on double one.
Your name's been misspelled on a plaque.
You have an obscure nickname.
You know the names of all the bartenders in all the dart bars in the city.

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if you don't hear music
please click twice